No More Sweet Incentives

We are big on incentives rather than retribution.

"If you do this then ..." The ... could be a toy, a hug, or a kiss. But most of the time, it's something sweet.

If you take your medicine, we will give you a piggy nose (gummy treat from London) and M&M.
If you go potty and get ready, I will give you a fruit snack package.
If you get your shoes on and go right to the car, we will give you a "fun snack bag."
If we leave the restaurant now and go home and see Daddy, you can have a rice crispie treat.

It hit me last night that we keep incenting her with sweets. This is not good. She's starting to look pudgie, she does have three cavities and it's not a good habit to get into.

I am going to have to research alternative incentives that work ... a hug or kiss aren't going to work for long.
And I can't start with new toys. Any ideas?

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)  

No Nap!

We had a busy Saturday morning. Not unusual except that Amy woke up at 7:45 - we couldn't believe it. Last night's Happy Hour really wore Amy out.

Chad asked her why she was so tired. "Mommy made me tired." Translation: I stayed out late last night with Mommy and I was tired.

The good news was that I got to sleep until 7:20 when Chad woke me and said, "Amy's still sleeping."

Unfortunately, they did not have time to go to breakfast before swim lessons. Amy eventually woke, got dressed and ready, and we were off for swim lessons, shower, playroom (and Zumba for me) and then a snack.

"What are we doing now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are we doing after the gym."

"Going home and taking a nap."

"No, I want to go home and play."

We got home and Amy did want to play. "I'm not tired. I won't be cranky. I promise." Chad played with Amy for a little while and I cleaned the house. Who got the better end of that bargain?

Eventually, at about 1-ish, we convinced Amy into bed. Unfortunately, that was short lived. We heard the door creek open and open walk out. "I'm not tired. I don't want to go to the sleep."

I tried the "I'm going to get you" trick which gets her to run and be the first one to arrive at her bed. I know that sooner or later, she will catch onto that trick and realize that she is 20 feet from her bed and I have to run up the stairs, into the upstairs hallway and then her bedroom. Until then, I will use it.

"I want you lay down and sleep with me." I laid down next to her in bed and one of the two of us fell asleep. I was woken by a little hand over my mouth and two beaty brown eyes looking at me.

"Wake up. I'm not tired." She was gone before I could even grumble and next thing I knew, Chad was upstairs convincing Amy to nap in our bedroom.

I am honestly not sure if she did ever fall asleep but one thing I can tell you is that I did. I woke up to Amy asking if she could go downstairs. I said, "Go ask Daddy."

Then next thing I knew, Chad was saying, "Mommy is sleeping, she did not tell you to ask Daddy if you could go downstairs." That was the end of my nap and the start of some 'splainin'.

We are waiting for our afternoon / dinner playdate. Fingers crossed that she is a young woman of her words, and that she isn't cranky.

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

Happy Hour ... With Your Kid!

I went to Happy Hour every Thursday when I was "single in the city" or whatever city I was in at the time. I had my favorite spot (El Rio Grande) and always went with the same group.

Recently when I was in the city, I walked down Third Avenue and had a short reminisce. Tasty margaritas, fun friends, cute guys, and lots of laughs.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that however many years later, I would be going to Happy Hour somewhere in NJ with my four year old. Nor did I think that I would be at Happy Hour drinking Diet Coke and counting my Weight Watcher points.

Amy and I were invited to go with a group of people (single and with kids) to the Green Knoll Grille after school / work yesterday.

The Green Knolle Grille has a huge outdoor area with a big playset and seating for the parents. There were three little girls in our group including Amy and a whole slew of other kids Amy's age.

There was a jungle gym with a steerling wheel and telescope which made it easy for the kids to pretend they were "Jake and the Neverland Pirates." This of course is our new favorite show.

I desperately wanted to be one of those parents who let their kids play by independently while I sat a ways back at a table drinking a cocktail. I couldn't do it.

Though I would not classify myself "helicopter," I did keep a close watch on Amy and her friends while they were playing. There was one moment when I was back at the table, trying to watch Amy - she was in a little club house with one of her friends and a bunch of older girls (approximate age 7).

I couldn't see her and that worried me. I was not to be deceived - we were still at a restaurant, outside, near the highway with lots of people drinking.

Amy had a great time and it was hard to get her out to the car to leave. She was tired and dirty, and it was getting late (7:15 pm). "I want my friends to come home and see Daddy." Chad is typically the life of the 4 year old party so I can understand her request but did not oblige last night.

Granted, taking my four year old to Happy Hour wasn't my classiest moment, but it sure was fun. I felt so human to be sitting outside with other adults, enjoying apps and my Diet Coke, and letting my child run around and play.

There is a scene in "Sweet Home Alabama" where Reece Witherspoon's character says to one of her girlfriends from high school who is holding a baby, "Oh, you have a baby ... pause ... in a bar." I am laughing to myself because "Oh, I have a kid ... pause ... and I took her to a bar / restaurant outside."

Nonetheless, it sure was "Happy Hour." Next Friday anyone?

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

Dad

Amy is growing up! She has predominately been calling Chad, "Dad" instead of "Daddy."

Chad has been trying to hang on and calls her Aim when she says "Dad" but it doesn't really work.

Thankfully, I am still "Mommy."

I don't think my heart can take the shortening of my name. Chad's stronger than I am.

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

Who's the Mommy?

This morning, I gave Amy a big hug and told her that she "filled my bucket" last night.

Filling buckets is something that kids do when they do something sweet or kind for a friend or family member. Bucket dipping is when kids do something mean to a friend or family member.

I told her that I was very sad last night because someone had hurt my feelings.

Amy then had a Mommy moment. She reacted just as I react when she tells me that someone hurt her feelings. "Who hurt your feelings, Mommy?"

"No one that you know. It's not important to say the name."

"Tell me, Mommy. I don't want anyone to hurt your feelings."

"It's okay, sweetie. I just wanted you to know that your hugs, kisses, reading books and snuggling really filled my bucket."

"That makes me feel happy, Mommy."

"Thank you. I like making you happy."

Who's the Mommy here?

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

Little Stinker

Last night, Amy climbed into bed with me - again. I woke up this morning, nose to nose with my kid. Snoring in my face (well, breathing in my face but snoring is more dramatic for the story).

Chad was already getting ready for work. I heard him say, "My girls, I love you. Have a good day. Do you want to get up?"

My response: "I love you too. Have a great day."

Amy's response: "Daddy, I love you. I need to be covered." Yawn.

Amy rolled over and went back to sleep. I got up and started the day.

Within 30 minutes, Amy was up and calling for me. "Maaameeee."

"I'm downstairs, sweetie."

"Is today a school day?"

"Yes. I will be right up. I am getting you clothes." I then climbed the stairs to my awaiting child.

"I don't feel well. I don't want to go to school."

"What hurts?"

"My belly."

"Oh. I am sorry to hear that." Pause. "If I offered you a piggy nose (gummy candy) and M&Ms, would your belly still hurt?"

Pause. Silence. "Yes, it would still hurt but I want them."

"Is there something that's bothering you at school?"

"No. I just want to stay home with you and play."

With some urging, Amy took a shower, watched "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" and got the day going. There was no additional mention of the belly hurting which educates my conclusion of ... "you little stinker."

Amy is incredibly honest. She tells me when she is good. She tells me when she has done something naughty. Amy has told me what boys she thinks are cute and who gets into trouble at school.

This is the first time that she has been a stinker with an excuse not to go to school. Now don't get me wrong, I think she had a short-term belly ache -- but one of those that you have right before you have to poop (oh did I mention that she then ran to the bathroom and pooped).

Over the past few days, Amy has concluded that being sick = staying home from school. She tried yesterday by saying that her "mouth hurt" and then was fine 5 minutes later. Today, it was the bellyache.

Amy is a homebody. She likes being home, relaxing, playing, reading and being in her own space. I can't believe that she has started "school" games.

I thought that waited until high school when you had the desire to cut school to go to the park or beach - not that I would know first hand.

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

My Sweet Girl

I had a tough day today. Period.

I try really hard to mask any anxiety, pressure or distraction from Amy. I don't want her to shoulder my emotions.

Today, I know that I did not do a great job. In front of Amy, I told Chad that I was feeling sad.

"Why are you feeling sad, Mommy?"

"My feelings were hurt today."

"I'm sorry Mommy. Will you snuggle with me?" Amy curled up next to me on the couch and gave me a big hug and a kiss. "I love you, Mommy."

My little sweetness. There was no more discussion afterward about Mommy feeling sad yet Amy remained empathetic towards me.

"I want Mommy to put me to bed. Just me and Mommy." We went through the bedtime routine - teeth brushing (she is a rockstar tooth brusher now, spitting and all), potty, changing for bed and picking a book.

"Mommy, let me read the book to you. I want to read." We sat down on her animal chairs and she read "Cinderella" to me. Remember, she is only turning 4 so "reading" is really telling me the story of what she sees which is theoretically early signs of reading.

"You're my best girl, Amy and I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy. Can we stay up all night and have a party together?"

"No sweetie. It is time for bed. That's when everything grows - your legs, your brain, everything."

"Look at my long legs. Do you love my long legs?"

"Yes, I love your long legs."

"Mommy."

"Yes."

"I love you. Good night."

Did Amy just sense that I needed the extra "kid love" from her tonight to put life into perspective? How did she know? We didn't talk about it.

Empathetic kids are really estute to the feelings of others. That's what I have been told or advised. I'm too tired for real research tonight to put any secondary research or science behind it.

I'll chalk it up to the "dog effect" -- dogs have a sense of when their owners are hurt or in trouble. That's why you hear stories of dogs traveling miles and miles to reunite or to save their owners.

My daughter is empathetic (until she is not and does something that a typical 4 year old does like say mean things to a friend). Right now, I will savor the empathy. And love it.

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

Feeling Better?

Yesterday, by the end of the day, I was wiped out and Amy was getting her third or fourth wind.

For dinner, she insisted on a picnic (in her defense, she has been asking for a picnic for quite some time). She set up a blanket on the floor and even set up plates full of plastic food.

I did not have the energy to fight so I served her dinner on the floor. We made it a family dinner. I sat on the floor next to her with my meal.

It was all wine and roses except for how Amy dressed for dinner. What's wrong with this photo?

Our picnic dinner was served after a day full of fun and adventure - inside the house. Amy painted two beautiful pieces of art, she strung beads, played with Play-Doh, went to a ball dressed up and with Prince Charming, destroyed her playroom, watched 2-3 movies, napped for a while, played a dozen games, read books, ran around without underwear, took a bath, played instruments, played with my iPad and so on and so forth. 

She asked no less than 10 times to go outside and when I went to get the mail, she ran around the front lawn (which needs to be cut). Did I mention that she had taken off her underwear and was running around wearing only with a tunic? 

Do you think that Amy was / is feeling better?

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

He Fought the Amy & Amy Won

There's a classic rock song, "I fought the law and the law won."

Well, that's Chad's theme song from last night. He fought Amy about sleeping in "Mommy and Daddy's bed." Eventually, he stopped fighting her and let her crawl into bed next to me.

Except that I woke up at 11 in a coughing fit and ended up downstairs. At about the same time that Chad was retiring to bed. He slept in the guest room.

So, yup, you have this straight:

1. Amy slept in my bed.
2. I slept downstairs.
3. Chad slept in the guest room.

Isn't strep delightful?

Amy woke up late this morning - at about 7 AM. She couldn't find me and started to cry. I encouraged her downstairs and she refused so I went to find here. Amy was hiding in a corner in my bedroom.

"My mouth hurts." That means that her throat was still hurting. "Is today a school day?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to go to school. I had fun at home yesterday." My poor baby. Getting over strep throat, having too much fun at home with Mommy and not wanting to go to school.

Amy went to school, whining all the way. I guess my theme song is "I fought the Amy and I won." I will call and check in around lunchtime to see how she's doing. I'm not cold!

http// newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

Strep Quarantine

That's an easy question to answer ... clearly, it is Amy.

I ran to the doctor yesterday when I felt my throat close. It was hard to swallow and to breathe. Turns out, that I have strep throat.

Amy had the same symptoms so I suggested to Chad that we get her a sick appointment at the doctor and get her an antibiotic. He listened, picked her up from school, took her to dinner and ice cream, and then the doctor.

Amy too has strep (and I am certain that Chad will have it soon too).

We have both been quarantined home today.

Amy has a lot of energy. We have painted, Play-dohed, colored, and we are now playing / acting out how horses would talk to one another. Oh wait, we are on break. Amy is going up to her playroom to get "Little Prince Charming."

Amy was a baker for a while (see posting on baker without underwear), played with dolls, built a house with magnets, dressed up wooden dolls, matched Princesses in a puzzle, and played a round of Don't Break the Ice.

Amy took her medicine like a champion and even asked for it this morning knowing that she would get three London M&Ms (aka, chocolate Smarties). Incentives. Whatever works! Chad said that she took the strep test without whining or complaining either.

I wish I was as strong as Amy and an equally good patient. I like to think that she has a high tolerance for discomfort just as my father did but think it's more likely that all kids react to illness the way that Amy does. Let's play it out and see how the rest of the day goes.

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)

This Baker & Her Underwear

Amy and I are home sick today.

We are both quarantined with strep throat. She is in a great mood and has lots of energy! We have been painting, coloring, Play-Dohing, playing and of course taking the right breaks for medicine, potty and food.

Right after going to the bathroom, Amy asked me for help putting on her apron.

She slipped it over her head and turned around for me to tie it. I squeezed her tushie and said, "Uh oh. Someone forgot to put her underwear back on."

"This baker doesn't wear any underwear."

"Oh. Okay." Who is willing to contest this? Certainly not me, right now with strep throat!

http://newworkingmominbr.blogspot.com
@workmomblogamy (www.twitter.com)